Jokes

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    • FOR SALE!!!
      Selling my old ride. 1982 model. Exterior tidy. Interior flogged out (details below). Very noisy unit. Rare 82 model with dual air bags in working order. Has been rear ended far too many times and is full of bog. It has very little grunt and has a top end whining noise when you drive it hard, very temperamental thing. Running gear is worn, Box BADLY needs an overhaul, been flogged by too many drivers with no oil in it. Has been bored out beyond it's limits, 15 years of piston slap has taken it's toll on it too, can dangle two oversized pistons in one chamber and still have room to flip a coin. Very filthy, stinks like cat piss on a dog shit. I'd put covers on if you intend on driving it ANYWHERE, pisses out leaks everywhere when warmed up and foams at the head. AS IS, WHERE IS, NO WARRANTY, NO RETURNS AND NO REFUNDS!
      Make an offer or swap for a , (I don't even give a fuck if it's a 4 pack of vodka cruisers.
      (Might be a fixer-upper for a VERY patient and wealthy buyer)
      Files
      Galaxy S7 Edge G935F with Echoe Rom Nougat v6 8o 8o
      Galaxy Tab S 10.5 Wifi with Iron Rom v3.2
    • A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said, “Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field.”

      A little while later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son. “What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I told you to be quiet.”

      The boy answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn’t move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me. I didn’t cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn’t swear or scratch when the poison oak started itching. But when the two squirrels crawled up my trouser leg and one of them said, ‘Should we eat them here or take them with us?’ well, I guess I just panicked.”
      Galaxy S7 Edge G935F with Echoe Rom Nougat v6 8o 8o
      Galaxy Tab S 10.5 Wifi with Iron Rom v3.2
    • The judge says, “Please tell me why you’re seeking a divorce.”

      John says, “Because I live in a two-story house.”

      The judge says, “What kind of a reason is that? What’s the matter with a two-story house?”

      John says, “I’ll tell you what the matter is. One story is ‘I have a headache’ and the other story is ‘It’s that time of the month.’”
      Galaxy S7 Edge G935F with Echoe Rom Nougat v6 8o 8o
      Galaxy Tab S 10.5 Wifi with Iron Rom v3.2
    • A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?”

      The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you were going to find out anyway. Your mom and I first got together in an internet chat room. Then I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cybercafe.

      We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, a little Pop-up window appeared nine months later that said, ‘You got Male.’”
      Galaxy S7 Edge G935F with Echoe Rom Nougat v6 8o 8o
      Galaxy Tab S 10.5 Wifi with Iron Rom v3.2
    • he wives of four presidents and prime ministers are talking together about how to say “penis” in their languages.

      The wife of Tony Blair says that in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.

      The wife of Boris Yeltsin says that in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.

      The wife of Chirac says that in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.

      The wife of Clinton says that in the United States you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth.
      Galaxy S7 Edge G935F with Echoe Rom Nougat v6 8o 8o
      Galaxy Tab S 10.5 Wifi with Iron Rom v3.2